Neve,
Today you would be 2! As time goes by it is harder to imagine what you would have been like. In my memories imagination I still see you with those piercing brown eyes, and I imagine your hair in long, raven plaits. Would you have been tentative, or attention-seeking? At two you would be gaining independence and speaking more, and more, each day. I am sure we would have our battles as you seek to do alone, but your cuddles would have erased all frustration. Oh, how I miss you and wish for the would-have-beens.
The moments that are hardest are when your sisters tell me they cried for the missing, when I find your picture in brother's backpack, when your sister doesn't know who you are because she was too little to remember being the big sister, and when I watch your daddy as he struggles to figure out how to grieve and let go.I wonder if your other mommy misses you as much today as I do. Does she visit your grave? I am too far away to wipe it clean of the dust and rain. Does she long to hold you just one minute longer? Does she too long for the sticky kisses of a two year old?
Today as we celebrate another birthday without you please know I once again wish for you but wouldn't wish you back to this hurting broken world. May God speed the day I get to be with you and Him!
Happy Birthday baby girl! Your mommy loves you!
Mom
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