Peace

I have been thinking about my last post

and I think God is convicting me.

(so for whoever was praying for that you got your answer)

 

I want things to fall into place for us...

I want Bo's job to be a consistent 9-5, M-F job, our house to sell, and us all to move at the same time,
but it is looking less and less like that.

  As I look at the future I see long separations, tight budgets, and loneliness.

So often I want life to be easier than it is.

 I think we have hit our quota of trials and hardship for the year.

I don't want to admit what I know to be true,
 life is not meant to be easy or comfortable even as a Christian,

 or maybe especially as a Christian. 

I want peace from the storm,
 but God is calling me to only seek peace in him. 

I know God has a plan for our lives,
 but sometimes the plan includes horrible things. 

 

I think about Paul and all he endured. 

He says in 2 Corinthians,

"I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again.    Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,  I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers.   I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked."  (11:23b-27)

 

 How I long to be like Paul who despite all these hardships, and more,
 responded well when God said,

“' 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'   Therefore I (Paul) will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9b-12)
 

So I have come to the place, once again, of pleading with God not for the things I want,

or have diluted myself into thinking I deserve,

but in begging that God will give me a contentment and peace in the midst of whatever He may bring so that I may boast with Paul, 

^"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:12-13)